


Eyes Wide Shut

by OneDirectionsErections



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Affairs, Betrayal, Blow Jobs, Cheating, Coming Untouched, Deepthroating, Dirty Talk, Eleanors POV, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Fingerfucking, Grinding, Heartbreak, M/M, One Shot, bottom!Louis, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-29
Updated: 2013-04-29
Packaged: 2017-12-09 22:41:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/778794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneDirectionsErections/pseuds/OneDirectionsErections
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eleanor and Louis are going on a semi-holiday. They both agreed that they would spend the night before they left with their friends. Eleanor finds herself going over to Louis and Harry’s anyway, to see what shenanigans all the boys are getting up to before Louis leaves. She didn’t expect to find Louis and Harry alone, together… In bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eyes Wide Shut

**Author's Note:**

> I realize not everything written might not be exactly what would be seen or felt from an outsiders point of view but just bare with me. I feel like I've written it, especially the sex, in the most understandable way possible. Also, I don't have anything against Eleanor, just thought this would be a great idea. Feel free to come follow me on Tumblr, message me, whatever you like! I love to hear what you guys think of my work and I love to have a good chat : )
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://direction-erections.tumblr.com) 

 

 

**Eleanor's POV**

  


"'Ello?" I pick up the phone on the sixth ring. Is it strange that I count the rings? Oh well.

"Eleanor, dear!" My mothers high pitched voice rings in my ears. "I 'aven't heard from you in a couple days love, how's everything?" It's a simple question but I can hear the worry in her voice. I don't know why, I've not given her anything to be worried about. Maybe her mother senses just feel something afoot.

"I'm fine mum. I don't need you to check in all the time, yea." I say, hopefully not as bitchy as I sound in my head. I sigh. I can even hear how heavy it sounds. God only knows how it'll sound to her. My mother takes everything into account, she always reads into shit that doesn't need reading. One of the many reasons I don't like talking about Louis with her. Thank god I have Dani or else I might go crazy. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother very much. It's just sometimes she's a little hard to take. I close my eyes for a minute and clear my throat. "I-I mean thank you for checking in mum. But everything is fine."  
  
"I know sweetheart, you know how I am." My mother chuckles. "How's the packing going?"

Ah yes, the packing. I look over on the floor and see multiple suitcases open with my clothes and various other belongs in or around them. I'm pretty much just throwing whatever I think I'll need for the trip in the cases. Louis and I are going on a weeks vacation to India. He told me he wanted to take my somewhere I've always wanted to go and that's where I chose.

"Uhhh… It's going." I laugh, moving to sit Indian style on my bed. "I've pretty much got everything ready."

"Oh thats good. You and Louis are still gonna be there a week, yea?" I can hear her distaste over the phone. She hates that I'm going away for a week. But I can't decide if she doesn't like the fact that I'm going to India or if it's the fact of who I'm going with.

"'Course. Why would that change?" I ask, my brows furrowed. Sometimes I just don't understand where she's coming from.

"Oh I dunno. You know I'm just gonna be worried is all."

I laugh again. "Mom there's no need to worry. It's not like we're gonna be in the slums. Lou has us booked at a five star hotel for christ sake."

"I know dear. But it doesn't matter where you are. I always worry. It's what mothers do. And there can be hooligan's at a five star ho-"

"Hooligans!" I chuckle at her bewildered. "Alright mum, I think it's time I go. I was in the middle of reading. And I'd like to continue. Love you. Goodnight."

"I love you too El. Call me tomorrow before the flig-" I hit the end button at that point, throwing my phone carelessly on the bed and lay back against my pillows with a loud sigh.

I was probably too harsh with her but I'm in a mood right now. And too be honest I've been in a mood for a couple days. I'm not even sure when it started. I just have so many thought swarming around in my head right now, its a little overwhelming.

I know what people say about me. It's kind of hard not too when everyone plasters it all over Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr. It's kind of hard to ignore. Especially when fans are telling me to jump off a bridge, kill myself and open my eyes. I knew becoming Louis' girlfriend was going to be difficult. But I never thought it was going to be this bad. I never knew young girls could be so vicious. Where the fuck do they learn it from? People just don't treat people like that. I wouldn't even say some of the shit they've said to me to my worst enemy.

I don't think anything is wrong with how close Lou and Harry are. I think it's great. Some guys are so hung up on being that close to another man in fear off being called gay and the boys just laugh it off. Make a joke out of it. Larry Stylinson.

It's not like they're the only two that act like that. Liam, Zayn and Niall are the same way with each other. I can't even remember how many conversations I've had with Dani about how we've walked in on the boys shirtless and wrestling around on the floor together. Or how they cuddle and watch chick flicks. The list is endless. I guess it's just the fact that the boys are all so close and comfortable with each other.

Dani said she's flat out asked Liam about the groups closeness and she'd come to me the next day and told me her and Liam had had the best sex they'd ever had together. How he'd gone down on her for like an hour. Fucking her three times that night. Showing her there was no reason to ever doubt his love for her.

When I'd asked Louis about Larry Stylinson he just laughed it off and made a joke. Like always. There had been sex that night but Louis has never gone down on me. So there was that. Or should I say wasn't. And during our second round that night Harry had called and said he needed Louis, and of course Lou rushed back to their apartment. Telling me he'd make it up to me. I'm not sure if that's what this trip is all about… It's another thought mulling around in my head.

Don't get me wrong I love Harry. We've been great friends for years. He's the one who introduced me and Louis, but I don't think he thought we'd get on so well and start to date. Every once in awhile when we're all together, I'll just see him watching me and Louis with confusion on his face. Like he doesn't see how Louis and I could fit together. But I also know Harry can be a bit possessive, jealous and protective. He is with Lou and the boys ninety percent of the time. It's their job to be together. To travel the world and entertain people. I get that. I love seeing them happy. But when they get time off and I wanna see Louis, Harry always tries to include himself. Not always, but a lot of the time. But he'll invite all the boys too so it looks like a group outing.

I don't know… Maybe its just me. Maybe it's all in my head. Maybe I just need to see Louis right now. We had said since we are going away for a week that we'd hang out with our friends the night before we left. Me, not being in the mood to be around anyone right now, is doing what I'm doing right now. Laying in my bed, when I could be out with friends having fun, and thinking about shit that makes me depressed. While Lou is hanging out with the boys at Harry's and his apartment. Probably throwing back far too many beers and having a great time in each others company.

Lifting my head off the pillow, I slide off the bed and over to my sandals on the floor. I decide crashing the boys fun doesn't sound so bad.

*** * ***

The traffic on the way to Harry and Lou's place is rather packed for some reason. It's 10:30, why are the roads so busy? What usually takes me about thirty minutes, takes me close to fifty minutes tonight. Is it Friday the 13th or something, cause the traffic is insane. But to be honest it keeps me focused instead of thinking about what's gonna happen when I get the flat. I don't know how drunk the boys are going to be. Lou and Niall never need an excuse to drink, they just do it. Hopefully Louis and the rest of the boys won't be mad that I crash their little party.

The first thing I notice when I turn onto Louis and Harry's street is that I don't see any cars parked outside. Is no one home? Did the boys decide to go out? A ton of question are buzzing around in my head. I don't falter though, I park my car and get out, locking the doors behind me. The walk up to their front door consists of me searching through my purse, trying to find the key that unlocks it. "Come on!" I mutter to myself, when I can't find it.

I don't keep it on my key ring cause I hardly ever use it. I think I've used it once when Louis was sick and I had to use the key so he didn't have to get up to answer the door. But usually one or both of the boys are home and I never have to use the key. But I don't want to interrupt the boys if they're all sitting down, drunk and relaxing.

When I finally find the key, of course at the very bottom of my purse in the corner, I use it to unlock the door and step inside, locking the door after myself. The first thing I notice is how quiet it is. I don't hear rambunctious playing or boisterous laughter. I don't hear music or even just talking. I walk down the little hallway and see that their is no one in the living room. The TV is the only thing on, no lights, nothing. It's on BBC news and the volume is off. I look around for any sign that something had been going on here tonight. No beer bottles, not even food, no roughhousing seemed to have gone down.

I move over to the couch and sit down, placing my purse on the coffee table in front of me. I'm slightly confused, but not enough to take out my phone and text Louis. It's very possible that the boys went out real quick and forgot to turn the TV off. I'm not going to make a big deal out of nothing.

I'm about to reach for the remote to turn the volume on the TV up when I hear something. It's so far away and quiet but I swear I just heard laughing. Like ringing in my ears. It sounded far to familiar and distinctive to just be my imagination. I hear it again only this time louder and I know its not just in my head.

I stand up and walk slowly toward the hallway. There is Louis' bedroom, Harry's bedroom, a spare bedroom, a closet, and Louis' bathroom in the hallway. As I move further into the hallway I notice all the doors are open except for Harry's. It's closed ninety percent of the way. Just ajar a tiny bit. I can see light coming through from the little space the door is open.

As I get closer, I can hear muttering and chuckling every now and then. I can't make out words yet, but the closer I get the more I can understand.

"What time is the flight tomorrow?" Harry asks.

"Uhh…" I hear laughter. "Um, I think… Fuck I can't remember." I hear Harry join in, laughing at Louis' forgetfulness. "It's definitely in the evening though. It says it on the tickets."

" 'Ave you talked to her today?" Harry asks.

I stop right when I get to Harry's door. Even though its only open a little bit. I can see my fair share of the room. I see Harry sitting on his bed, looking in the direction I know his bathroom to be in. Louis must be puttering around in there.

"Yea this morning." Louis says. "We just talked about tomorrow. How everything's going down before we head off and shit."

I can see Harry looking directly at Louis as the two talk. He never wavers or looks away. His position is extremely casual, he's leaning back on his hands, his legs spread pretty wide, almost vulgarly, and his head is cocked to the side. He's wearing a black tee with The Ramones band logo on it, a shirt I know to be one of his favorites, dark blue skinny jeans and bare feet.

"I don't want you to go..." Harry states lowly. My eyebrows raise at that. Why would he say that?

Louis sighs, "I know. I don't really want to go either." My mouth falls open at that and I feel my heartbeat pick up speed. He doesn't want to go. Then why the fuck did he ask me to go away!? "But I promised El, I don't want to upset her. She deals with a lot." I bite my lip, now torn, I'm still pissed he said that but now I feel slightly better knowing that he cares about my feelings.

Harry starts to smile. I have on idea why cause I can't see what Louis is doing. He ruffles up his hair and pushes his fringe to the side like he always does, before once again cocking his head to the side, looking at Louis with a wicked grin.

"You know…" Louis starts. "You look like a right slut sittin' like that young Harold..." Louis voice is deep and has a tone in it I've never heard before.

Harry just chuckles and takes his bottom lip in his mouth, "Yea?" He questions, and starts to kick his feet, that are dangling off the bed, back and forth. For some reason my heart starts to thump rapidly and my hands get clammy. This isn't how they normally talk to each other. At least not in a way I've ever heard. I start to get nervous and wonder if I should continue watching.

Harry's voice brings me back again. "Awwhh Lou, don't do that over there. That's not fair." I hear Louis' menacing laughter, then a couple moments of silence before Louis walks into my view. He's got on a plain white T-shirt and khaki skinny jeans, so tight I don't even know if I could get into them. He walks up to Harry and grabs the front of his curly fringe, lolling his head back and forth before pushing Harry back on the bed hard, making Harry laugh. Harry sits back up and Louis grabs his face this time, placing both hands on either side of Harry's face and quickly moves it back and forth. Before once again pushing Harry down on the the bed playfully. This time Louis joins in on the laughter.

Just like the first time, Harry moves to sit up and leans further into Louis' space, leaning his chin on Louis' chest. Louis in turn ruffles up Harry's hair. "Loooooouuuuueeeeehhhhhh!" Harry whines and fixes his fringe.

"Oh stop with the whining you big cry baby." Louis smiles and places his hands on Harry's shoulders as Harry runs his hands up Louis' thighs and finally stops when he reaches around to Louis' ass. Grabbing two large handfuls of it. My heart plummets to my gut and I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. This can't be happening. I must be dreaming.

"Can never get enough, can you?" Louis steps closer and stands in between Harry's spread legs and runs his hands through Harry's hair at the base of his neck, making Harry tilt his head back.

"How can I when you wear jeans this fucking tight…" Harry continues to kneed Louis' ass, before wrapping his arms around Louis' midsection and a tight hug, once again resting his chin on Louis' chest, looking up at him. "I swear you do it on propose."

I can't see Louis' face from this angle, but he must make a face cause it makes Harry smile, "Of course I do…" Louis laughs like its the most obvious answer. "Gotta keep your attention, babes."

"Lou, you'd 'ave my attention if you fuckin' wore a pota'o sack." Harry laughs and tilts his head to bite at Louis' pec.

"Oi!" Louis laughs and pushes Harry's face away, "There will be none of that Harold."

Harry pouts and bats his eyes playfully, "Really?" He cocks an eyebrow like he doesn't believe a word Louis says. "I thought that was the whole point of tonight?…" Harry leans back on his hands and just looks at Louis like he's the most fucking perfect thing he's ever seen.

A look like that doesn't go unreciprocated. The fact that Louis is most likely giving Harry the same look back makes me want to die. My stomach churns, and my heart hurts. And I will myself to not get teary. I will not fucking cry.

With Harry having moved away from Louis some, I can see a massive tent in the front of his jeans. I don't know why I'm surprised. Deep down inside I was just praying that this was all some kind of sick and twisted joke. Louis would pull himself off Harry, run over to me, throw the door open fully and scream 'gotcha' at the top of his lungs before scooping me up in his arms and tell me over and over again that I'm all he wants. And that he and Harry are and will just alway be best friends.

But that doesn't happen, and it makes my heart hurt.

I must have lost a few moments of time from my deep thoughts, cause when I focus back on the boys my breath gets caught in my throat and no matter how many times I try to gulp my sickness down, the huge lump of hurt just stays trapped in my esophagus.

Louis has his forehead leaning down against Harry's and his hand is rubbing Harry's hard on over top of his jeans. Harry's hips buck up into Louis' hand and he throws his head back in a little laugh/moan.

Louis chuckles, but I can hear the tone drop in his voice. It's lower and from personal experience I can hear how turned on he is. "You get so hard so fast…" He says against Harry's cheek, before moving down and biting at Harry's jaw, his hand adding more pressure on Harry's cock.

"C-can't help it…" Harry licks his lips, sounding out of breath. And even from my distance and even in the semi-dim light, I can see how flush and pink Harry's cheeks and neck are. "You make me like this... Y-you do this to me…"

Louis makes a little snort of laughter out of his nose, "That's cause you're still a young boy Harold." Louis laughs and pushes Harry back onto the bed fully, before climbing up on the bed himself and moving to straddle Harry's hips.

"Oh would you-- Agghh…" Harry says, but moans out when Louis sits on top of him. "…Shut up with the young boy routine…" Harry leans up on his elbows and looks at Louis with a challenge on his face. "You're only 21 and you're just as hard as I am." Harry rolls his hips for effect, causing Louis to gasp and hurl forward.

And my heart aches again. He's never made that sound with me. He's never been this playful with me. Its always been in and out and then he'd pass out.

Louis leans down and places his hands on the bed on top of Harry's, and knocks his forehead against Harry's, before just resting it there. "That's because you turn me on so fuckin' much… I'm in a constant state of arousal." Harry smiles like he just won the fucking lottery, and I have to keep my breathing in check.

"I feel like that's a secret you shouldn't 'ave told me, babes…" Harry leans up and kisses Louis' lips suddenly. And I have to put a hand over my mouth to keep from crying out. I close my eyes tightly for a moment and will myself to calm down. "I could so use that information against you…" Harry chuckles.

Louis leans up slightly and Harry whines a bit, "You could…" Louis pushes Harry down so his back is fully against the bed, and grabs his wrists, sliding them above Harry's head and holding them firmly in his hands. Louis is leaning down and his face is inches away from Harry's. "But if you did… You might not get this…" Louis starts to grind against Harry, rolling his hips with wild abandon.

Harry turns his head and moans, he bites at Louis' wrist and it only seems to egg Louis on more. They both pant and moan while grinding against each other for what seem like hours. My hands start to shake and I have to lean against the wall to support myself. My legs feel like they could give out at any moment.

Louis' hips halt and Harry's eyes snap back to Louis, looking flustered and confused, and beyond turned on. "What do you want?" Louis pants against Harry's lips.

Harry doesn't answer right away, instead he just lift his head off the mattress and slams his lips against Louis'. They both makes sounds of relief when their lips come together. They both tilt their heads in opposite directions to get a better angle of the kiss. I can see Harry's arms trying to lift off the bed and get away from Louis' hold on them, but Louis' grasp is too tight, and it makes Harry whine. Louis holds him down with more pressure and Harry moans. Louis runs his tongue along the bottom of Harry's lip, "What… Do you… Want?…" Louis says slowly and in between teasing Harry with his tongue. In between the breaks of his words Louis brings his tongue to Harry's lips and slides it along his bottom lip. Every time Harry tries to catch it, Louis pulls away.

Harry whines in the back of his throat, "Lou…" He tries to push against Louis' hold on his arms.

"Tell me…" Louis says and leans down to nibble at Harry's neck, his hips beginning their slow torture once again.

Harry's back arches and his chest bumps into Louis', his mouth falls open and pants of breath fall out. Louis lets go of one of Harry's wrists and brings his hand to Harry's crotch again, I can see it sliding in between their bodies as they continue to wither against one another. His other hand holding both of Harry's wrists now.

"If you don't tell me what you want…" Louis says roughly, practically in Harry's mouth. "I'm just going to do whatever the fuck I want to you…"

"Yes, yes, yes…" Harry moans desperately, looking up at Louis. "Please… Do whatever you want to me… I love it… Love you..."

It's in that moment, hearing those words… Something inside me breaks. I'm a fucking fool. I've been fucking made. They probably laugh at me. Poor young girl in love with a boy who couldn't give two shits about her. I am so angry and beyond hurt and I finally can't take it anymore, a single tear slips down my cheek.

I feel the trail of wetness as the big soggy tear runs down to my chin. I wipe it away hurriedly, furious that I'm crying at all.

Everyone fucking warned me… Friends, my mother. God, my fucking mother would have a field day with this information and never fucking let me live it down. What's worse is that their fans knew! People who didn't even know them, people who could tell just by looking at them that they are in love. Fuck, I am so fucking stupid and angry at myself for letting myself fall harder and harder for this boy everyday, while he was never in this relationship at all.

I want to run, I want to leave and never look back. Just not know these boys anymore. Knowing them has given me nothing but trouble. But I don't, I don't move. I don't leave. I don't run away and never look back. I can't. I have to know. I have to know what happens between them. I have so many questions. Maybe knowing how deep shit is between them will make me understand how a boy who claimed to have feelings for me could do this when he clearly has the ability to love.

My attention is brought back when I hear Louis speak again, "You love me?" Harry nods frantically, arching up against Louis' body, who is still circling slow and teasing figure 8's down onto Harry's lap. "Yea, you love me…" The hand that was between their bodies moves itself up and grabs a handful of Harry's hair at the nape of his neck, pulling slightly, causing Harry to moan. "You love the things I do to you… You love my cock… You love how I fuck you… How I suck you… How I make you cum…"

"Fuck Lou… I-" Harry tries to lean up to catch Louis' lips, but every time he does Louis leans away.

"I make you cum so hard don't I?" Harry licks his lips and a moan flies out of his mouth as an answer. "Like right now… You're so fucking hard… I can feel how hard you are… How close you are..." Louis' hips stop and he cocks his head, like he's thinking of something. Harry looks up at him pleadingly, mouth opening and closing like he wants to say something but can't. "You wanna cum?"

"P-please, please, please… Yes, shit--Fuck Louis, I wanna cum…" Harry lifts up his hips a little to show Louis what he wants.

Louis chuckles and leans closer licking the tip of Harry's nose, before leaning his mouth down to Harry's ear. "I want you to cum too baby… I want you to cum right now." He whispers loudly.

"Wha-" Harry's eyes close and his brows furrow, like he doesn't understand.

"You're so close already, yea? I can tell… You get so worked up for me… I want you to cum for me like this Haz…" Louis breathes out, his mouth moving down to suck at Harry's neck, while his hips start their wicked undulation. Not figure 8's this time, just straight up and down, the fast dragging of friction. "Cum in those tight jeans of yours for me… You always make such a mess… Urgh…" Louis lets go of Harry's wrists and pushes his upper body up, hands splayed on Harry's chest as he throws his head back, a gasp flying out of his mouth. Obviously just as into this as Harry. "Make a mess for me Harry…"

"S-shit Lou… I-" Harry's hands slip into his own hair and he pulls at the stands.

Louis pulls his attention back to Harry, watching him with laser focus. "Fuck, I love seein' you all fucked out like this..."

"Don't fucking stop…" Harry's hands disentangle from his hair and move to grip Louis' grinding hips. I can see how tight Harry's grasp on Louis' hips are, can see how Harry's fingers dig into Louis' skin. "I'm so… Fuck--So close Lou… You're gonna make me cum…" Harry's breathing is so erratic it seems unhealthy.

"Yea?" Louis asks, leaning down a little closer to Harry. One of Harry's hands move from Louis' hip to the waistband of his briefs that are poking out of the top of his jeans. Louis makes a content sigh/moan when Harry grabs a handful of Louis' ass when Harry's hand dives under the elastic of his briefs. Which only seems to egg his thrusts against Harry more. "You gonna cum?" Louis chuckles a moan out. "You gonna cum in your jeans like the--Fuck… Sixteen year old boy you were when I met you."

I see Harry's eyes flash open and a gasp falls out of his mouth. I watch as Louis leans down to Harry's ear and whisper something I can't hear. And that along with Louis hips seem to be Harry's undoing.

"Urrrgghh! Oh my fucking--Louis! Oh God!" Harry's moans fill the room and bounce around in my head they're so loud. I watch as his body starts to shake and his back arches off the bed, his legs and feet twitch and kick off the edge of the bed. The entire time Louis' hips still grind. The hand that was inside the back of Louis' jeans are now back to squeezing Louis' hips so hard I can see angry red indents where Harry's fingers are digging into the sliver of skin that is showing as Louis' shirt rides up.

My heart is beating so fast in my chest I can feel it in my ears. My mouth is so dry I have to lick my lips a couple of times. I don't know what I should do. Should I knock on the door? Should I just barge in and demand to know how Louis could do this to me? So many thoughts are flying around in my head.

My thoughts are interrupted when all of a sudden Louis leans forward and clashes his mouth to a still harshly breathing Harry. Harry moans and pushes into the kiss more. He lifts his left hand up to cradle Louis neck, deepening the kiss, but Louis bats his hand away and pulls back from Harry's mouth.

"Stay." Is all Louis says, slamming Harry's hands down onto the mattress. He hops off Harry's body to stand at the edge of the bed, in the space between Harry's legs, and pulls Harry body down so his ass is practically hanging off the edge so fast Harry makes a squeak of surprise.

"Lou wha-" Harry starts, a look of confusion all over his post-orgasmic face.

"Shhhh…" Is all Louis says and drops to his knees in front of Harry. My heart pangs with hurt and betrayal.

Harry leans up on his elbows to look down at Louis. He breath is still as ragged as when his orgasm hit him.

Louis moves his hand up and rubs his palm against Harry's crotch. Harry hisses and his head fall against his shoulder.

"You're still hard…" Louis says and my eyes widen. I didn't know that was possible. I knew men could get hard again shortly after an orgasm, but I never know a man could stay hard after just having one. The way Louis makes the statement, his tone isn't surprised.

"I can't help it…" Harry hums out, repeating his earlier admission.

Louis chuckles and runs his other hand up and down Harry's thigh, "Men who have to take Viagra could learn a thing or two from your cock…"

Harry just chuckles and moves a hand up to run through Louis' hair, watching as Louis' hands slowly undo his belt, top button and the zipper of his jeans.

"Do you think you'll still be able to get hard like this when we're in our forties?" Louis asks, his tone changing from in control to sweet.

My mouth falls open and I have to close my eyes for a moment to regain control over myself. Louis pictures them together twenty years from now. When I asked Louis if he'd ever thought about us even living together he said it was too far in the future. A silent sob escapes my mouth and I do everything I can not to burst into tears that second. I take deep breathes and my eyes snap open when I hear a laugh of pure joy come from Harry.

Harry has sat up completely, both of his hands are holding onto the sides of Louis' face as he looks at Louis like he's the most precious thing in the world. Louis is sitting back on his hunches, looking up at Harry with more love then I think I'm able to understand. "Oh babe… Of course…" Harry says lowly, but loud enough that I can just make it out.

I see the side of Louis' mouth turn up in a bright smile as his hands run up and down Harry's calves. "Oh thank God, cause you know someone has to keep up with me!" He laughs and Harry leans down to rest his forehead against Louis'. He kisses Louis on the lips. Different from the other kisses. Sweet and gentle. Just their lips resting against each other. A few seconds pass before Louis pulls back and chuckles in Harry's face before pushing Harry back against the bed. "Now lay back and let me get your cock out." Louis smiles up at Harry as he grabs the folds of Harry's jean and wiggles them down enough so Harry's brief covered bulge is comes into view.

With the only thing covering Harry's cock being tiny red briefs, I get a way more detailed look of Harry's dick then I ever thought I would. I can practically see the outline of the whole thing, his Armani briefs doing little to hide his arousal.

Louis moves his hands to wrap around each of Harry's thighs and pull Harry's body down more, so his ass is back to almost hanging off of the bed. It also brings Harry's crotch right in front of Louis' face. "Look at you…" Louis murmurs, moving his palm to rub against Harry's brief covered cock, causing Harry to hiss through his teeth and his hips to buck. "Knew you'd make a mess for me…" Louis moves closer and runs his tongue along the fabric of Harry's briefs. Harry hums and places his hand on Louis shoulder. Louis grabs at the waistband of Harry's briefs and pulls it back, Harry's cock making a wet slap against his stomach.

My eyes widen and I can feel my eyebrows shoot up into my hairline. I'd heard stories… Jokes amongst the boys, about how Harry walks around naked all the time. And how Harry's cock is massive. But seeing it in person, seeing it for myself, I wasn't prepared at all. I can only imagine the view Louis has of it, up close and personal. Even through my fury a shiver runs through my body at the sight of Harry's cock. Anyone would have to admit its a pretty cock. It has to be 9 inches easy. No way around it. Curving upwards just the slightest bit. It's not as thick as Louis' cock, but it's got a good inch, inch and a half on Louis'. And I thought Louis' was massive.

I watch as Louis grasps Harry's cock at the base and leans down, dragging his tongue across Harry's lower stomach and near to base of his cock.

"S-shit Louis…" Harry's pants. "You can't just do shit like that… Fuck…" Harry's hand moves from Louis' shoulder to slide up and grab the back of his neck firmly.

When Louis looks up suddenly, his tongue is still out and I can see a thin string attached from Harry's hip to Louis' mouth glistening in the light. I then realize that Louis is lapping up Harry's cum from his earlier orgasm. My mouth falls open in shock.

Louis just licks his lips, "What? It's easy clean up…" Harry moans as Louis' hand starts to slide up and down his shaft. "Plus, I can't help that you taste so fucking good…" Louis kisses the head of Harry's cock and I lean closer to the crack in the door.

For how tiny the space is that's open, I have an unbelievably clear view of the boys. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing. A part of me really doesn't want to watch this. A sick feeling is churning my stomach. But my feet won't budge. It's like my heart and mind want to leave, but my body won't let me. I have to know everything. I have to know what I can't give Louis… Well I mean aside from the obvious.

"Ohhh… Ugh. Louuuuu…" Harry groans out as Louis' lips wrap around the head of his cock. He just keeps the crown of Harry's cock in his mouth but Harry's hips and thighs are twitching so I can only imagine what Louis' tongue is doing.

Louis slowly descends down Harry's cock. Taking in a little more then pulling back, his hand moving with his mouth. I can see how deep the hollow of Louis' cheek is from my view at the door. I can only imagine the pressure against Harry's cock.

Harry's moans and pants fill the air. It's already starting to smell like sex. "Fuck Louis… Oh fuck!" Harry's head tilts back and his grip on the back of Louis' neck tightens. "So good…"

Louis sticks out his tongue and slaps Harry's cock against it a couple times, making Harry hiss out in pleasure. He runs the flat of his tongue up and down the entire length of the vein on the underside of Harry's cock.

With his free hand Louis fumbles with the button and zipper of his own jeans, his hand diving under the material when he has enough room.

Harry's hand is fisting at the hair at the nape of Louis' neck, "C'mon Lou…" Harry whines. "Don't tease… Suck it properly. Suck it like I know you love to…" Louis halts his movements for a moment, just looking up at Harry quickly, and I swear I can almost see him smiling up at Harry before his lips wrap around the head of Harry's cock fully. "Oh fucking--Yesssss…" Harry hisses out as Louis' lips bob up and down on his cock. I can hear the wet slurping suction sound Louis' lips are creating.

Every time Louis goes down he take a little more of Harry's length inside his mouth. He's got more then half of Harry's cock in his mouth and my eyes widen again. There is no way Louis can take all of that. My jaw is starting to ache just from watching.

"God, Lou… You suck my cock so perfectly… Y-you're being such a fuckin' tease though…" Harry's hand runs through Louis' hair a couple of time before his grabs a fistful. His hips buck up to meet Louis' lips on a downstroke. Every time Louis slides down, Harry's hips buck up. "I know how badly you wanna take it… Look at you fuckin' tossing off… Gagging for it… So fucking hot…" It's only then that I notice Louis' cock out, his fist flying up and down the shaft in time with his bobs on Harry's dick. "Can't even have a cock in your mouth without touching yourself, you love it so much…" Harry chuckle/moans out, Louis getting closer and closer to the base of Harry's cock with every bob.

I can see how wet Harry's cock is with Louis' spit from my place at the door. My eyes alternate back and forth from Louis' hand touching himself to how deep Louis' mouth is taking in Harry.

Louis hums as he takes in the last bit of Harry's cock. "Holy fuck-ing--" Harry's voice cracks and cuts off as his arm gives out and his body falls back against the bad. "Yes, yes, yes, yes…" Harry whispers out harshly, his back arching off the bed and his fists grip onto the duvet fiercely.

Louis moans out, causing Harry's mouth to fall open in a silent scream. Louis doesn't let up, doesn't gag. Just stays… His nose pressing tightly against Harry's lower stomach. He grabs onto Harry's thighs fiercely with both hands, gripping the denim. His mouth so stretched and red I can see the faint abused color from where I stand. Through all Harry's loud moans and panting I can hear the faint sound of Louis' constant whimpers and the heavy breathing through his nose.

He finally lets up and I notice his body is shaking. A rush of Harry's cock sliding out of Louis lips is all I see, then Louis' body slumps completely onto the floor.

"Lou…?" Harry asks, his body sitting up and looking down at Louis as soon as Louis falls to the floor. "Oh my-- D-did you-"

"Shut up…" Louis rasps out, his body twitching. His voice is harsh like his throat has just been in a fight with sand paper. Or a fucking massive cock.

I'm confused until I notice Louis' cock getting soft against his stomach.

"You did… You fucking came… From just sucking my cock…" Harry voice sounds in awe as he reaches down and grabs both of Louis' wrist, hauling his weak body up till he's standing in front of Harry. His body wavering slightly. "That's so fucking hot." Harry whispers before pulling Louis' body into his and attacking his mouth. It's all wet tongues and teeth pulling at bottom lips. I'm not gonna lie, it's the kind of kiss people dream about. The kind of kiss that takes your breath away.

As they continue to kiss Harry tugs at the waist band of Louis' jeans and briefs, just under Louis' cock, pushing them both down as far as he can. When he gets them low enough, Harry steps on the fabric in the middle and Louis gets the hint, stepping out of and then kicking the jeans and his briefs off his legs. Harry's hand wanders under Louis shirt, touching the skin of his lower stomach before his pulls off Louis' mouth and grabs the hem of Louis' shirt, bringing it up and over his head.

Harry goes to take his shirt off as well but Louis just pulls him in again, resting his forehead against Harry's. "Leave 'em on." Is all Louis says and kisses Harry's lips quickly before going to crawl up the bed. Sitting Indian-style when he reaches the middle. His breathing is still ragged as he runs a hand over his face, then through his hair.

Harry stands and watches every movement Louis makes till he moves to kneel on the bed, grabbing each of Louis' legs and pulling them out of their Indian-style position till they are straight and he crawls in between Louis' spread legs. "Were you touching yourself when you came?" Harry knocks his head with Louis' as he pushes Louis completely on his back. Louis' legs bend at the knee and tighten at Harry's sides.

Louis looks away when Harry's asks the question. A loud huff of air escaping his mouth. He doesn't answer.

"You weren't were you?" Harry asks, awed humor on his tone. He goes to push down his own jeans but Louis stops him.

"Leave 'em…" Louis rasps out again, his hands run up and down Harry's back before they slide under the fabric of his shirt. "Want you to fuck me with all you're kit on…"

Harry moans and starts to slowly grind into Louis, he ignores Louis' statement all together and goes back to what he was saying. "I love that you get so worked up for me babe… Love that my cock can make you cum that hard…" Harry leans down and runs his nose along Louis' jaw. Louis tips his head back to give him more space. "Makes me feel better… Knowing I'm not the only one who feels that way in this relationship…" Harry starts nipping at Louis' chin before he brings his hand up to Louis' neck and tilts his head so Louis is looking at him.

Louis smiles sweetly, face all blissed out and euphoric, "Guess… Guess we're kinda made for each other then."

Harry leans his forehead down onto Louis', his thumb grazing the skin along Louis' neck, "Guess we kind of are." Harry places his lips against Louis', he catches Louis' bottom lip between his and nips and pulls at the skin slowly, his tongue gliding over the spot after every time he does it.

They kiss lazily for awhile, their hands running all over each other and moans of encouragement and love pass back and forth between them.

With every minute that passes their kiss gets more and more heated. Their hips rock against each other, no doubt cause friction against both of their cocks, if their louder moans and panting is anything to go by. Their hands grip skin tighter. Louis' hands push down Harry's jeans and briefs just below his ass and he grabs big handfuls of Harry's ass cheeks, kneading at the skin.

"Want you to fuck me Haz…" Louis whines out when Harry's mouth slides down to his neck, leaving love bites and teeth marks all over it.

Harry hums out, "Mmmm… yea, yea…" He moves his right hand up to Louis mouth, tapping Louis' lips with two fingers, his mouth still sucking and biting at Louis' neck. "Get 'em real wet for me, yea."

Louis opens his mouth and Harry's fingers slide inside. Harry's mouth trails from Louis' neck to his collarbones, leaving little red blotches all over the prominent bones, all the while he's fingers moving in and out of Louis' mouth. Louis' tongue wraps around Harry's fingers every time they pull out. I can see how shiny they are with his saliva.

At this point I'm feeling pretty numb, but I still feel like I have to mentally prepare myself for what is actually about to happen. They're minutes away from fucking. My boyfriend and his best friend, the boy who introduced us. My friend. A boy I've known for years and thought I could trust. So many questions are flying around in my head I'm starting to get a headache. It goes pretty perfectly with my heartache, so I don't even flinch as I watch Harry's fingers slip from Louis' mouth and drop to between Louis' legs. I can't see between their bodies, but I can tell by how Louis' legs spread wider and the arch of his back, not to mention the acceleration of his breathing, that Harry's fingers have entered his body.

Louis' hands are gripping onto Harry's shoulders and his teeth are biting into his bottom lip, heavy breathing coming out of his nose.

"Okay Lou?" Harry breathes against the middle of Louis' chest, looking up at Louis.

"Yes, yes, yes, yesss. Please, please…" Louis hiss out, his hips winding in slow circles. "L-love your fingers…"

After that admission, Harry's arm starts to move, clearly causing his fingers to pump in and out of Louis. While Harry's fingers do whatever wonders they are obviously doing to Louis' asshole, Harry's lips run all over Louis' chest, biting at his pecks, leaving love bites on the skin at the top of his ribs, sucking Louis' nipples into his mouth one at a time. "Gonna fuck you so good Lou… Gonna fuck you so hard… So hard, you won't be able to think of anything else on your trip after I'm done with you tonight…"

I'm thankful that at the same time a gasp accidentally escapes my body, a gasp flies out of Louis' as well. My hand comes up to cover my mouth and another single tear slides down my cheek. I squeeze my eyes so tight. I want this to be over. I want this to be a dream. A nightmare that I'm going to wake up from, but loud moans and panted words fill my head instead.

"Oh f-fuck Harry…" Louis' fucked out throat growls as Harry's mouth attaches to Louis' cock, his arm having picked up speed between his legs. Louis meets his arm pump for pump. Louis' neck strains to watch Harry's mouth descend down his cock. "Arrgghh… Yea, yea… Just like that, just like that…" Louis licks his lips, his eyes never looking away from the skillful way Harry's mouth slides up and down his cock. "You're lips look so fuckin' good wrapped around my cock… Mmmmughh…"

Harry's deep throating skills are different then Louis. Instead of just reaching the base with his lips and staying still like Louis did, Harry sucks down to Louis' base every time but comes right back up.

"Want another?" Harry asks after lifting off of Louis' cock, his hand taking the place of his mouth.

"No…" Louis breathes out, "Wanna feel it…"

Harry just nods and removes his fingers from Louis, he crawls over the bed and moves to open the drawer of the nightstand. He's pulls out a bottle before quickly settling back in between Louis' legs, shifting their bodies a bit to be better aligned.

"We're almost all out." Harry chuckles. Waving the bottle in Louis' face, it's then I notice that it's a bottle of lube.

"Guess you'll 'ave to get some more while I'm gone…" Louis smiles and moves to bunch up a couple of pillows under his head, elevating himself a bit.

"You kidding... By the time you get back I'll 'ave used the whole new bottle fucking myself…" Harry snorts through his nose and Louis just closes his eyes and whimpers.

"How 'bout you think about fucking me right now..." Louis licks his lips and opens his eyes.

Harry doesn't answer, just flicks open the lid of the lube and squirts a decent amount in his palm, throwing the bottle onto the bed when he's done with it. From my angle, with Harry's back to me, I can't see Harry's dick or Louis' ass, but I can see Harry's hand moving down. His arm starts to move slowly, clearly him applying the lube to his cock.

Harry leans forward, his left hand holding his weight up. Louis' legs move to wrap around right under Harry's jean clad thighs. Their both looking down, Louis' neck straining to watch Harry get ready. There's a couple seconds of silence before Louis' mouth drops open and his eyes slam shut. I have to look away. I don't think I can handle this part. The blatant look of pleasure that was on Louis' face for that split second was more then enough for me.

Two sets of broken moans fill the air and I feel a cold sweat feeling take over my body. Their moans sound like relief, like the sound of coming home. The sound of two people who are doing the only thing they think about doing. I lean my forehead against the doorframe and take in large gulps of air, trying to calm myself down. Why? _Why?_ **Why?** Is the only thing I'm screaming in my head.

Louis' screaming brings me back to reality.

"Fuck, fuck… Oh f-fuck!" My head lifts off the doorframe and I peer back in between the crack of the open door.

Harry's got his hands on Louis' hips, keeping him in place and Louis' head is thrown back, his hands are pulling and tugging at Harry's hair.

"You look… You look so fucking good Lou…" Harry's hips are thrusting in long deep pumps. "Can never get over how well you take my cock… Your ass is fucking amazing… So perfect…" Harry's head leans down, undoubtably looking at where his cock is entering Louis over and over again. "Jesus Christ…" Harry's hips start to thrust a bit faster… Harder.

One of Louis' hands untangle from Harry's hair and slide down his back and grip onto Harry's ass, grabbing onto the denim and pushing Harry's ass, causing Harry's hips to speed up even more. "Oh God, yessss… I love your cock Haz… Love it. S-so good, sooooooo good… So fucking big. Love it so much. Stretches me out so good…" Louis' rough voice rambles out.

"Fucking sh-shit…" Harry's head falls against Louis' chest. His shirt is starting to show wetness from his perspiration. "I'm not gonna--Not gonna last if you keep talking like that Lou…" Harry's hands have let go of Louis hips and one is now fisted in Louis' hair while the other is gripping onto the side of Louis' neck.

His hips now free, Louis' meeting Harry thrust for thrust. The hand that is still in Harry's curls pull at Harry's neck, bringing his body down to lay on top of Louis' fully. Their lips meet in a sloppy kiss. The slapping of their skin is all I can hear while their lips are attached. "That's the whole point babe… C'mon…" Louis smiles when he pulls away from the kiss, his face flush and fucked out. He groans practically into Harry's mouth. "We have all night… I'm getting close…" His tongue licks at Harry's mouth.

Harry pushes himself back up till he's sitting on his haunches. He grabs at both of Louis' wrists and pulls Louis' with him, effectively positioning Louis on his thighs.

Harry places his hands behind him on the bed for leverage. Louis' arms wrap around his shoulders and a loud cry slips out of Louis' mouth when Harry's hip start their thrusting. The new position must be working for Louis cause whimpers and hiccuped moans continuously fly out of his mouth.

"Uh, uh, uh-h-h-h… So deep…" Louis pants against Harry's cheek. "You fuck me so good Harry… So fucking deep…" Louis starts to bounce on top of Harry's thrusts, causing a loud slapping sound to ring out in the room. Their hips meet each other at such an alarming rate, that the hard rocking of their bodies cause the headboard to knock against the wall loudly.

Harry moves one hand up to Louis' neck, pushing him back a bit. One of Louis' hands let go of Harry's shoulder and reach down to wrap around his cock. Harry immediately slaps his hand away. "Oh no, no, no…" Harry's voice has a dark, animalistic tone to it. "Not allow to touch yourself Lou…" Louis' forehead furrows and a whine escapes his lips. "Gonna cum just from my cock…"

"Oh my--Fuck…" Louis' mouth falls open and his head tips back, eyes slipping shut.

"Can you do that for me babe? Cum on my cock… Cum from me j-just ruining your tight little hole?" Their level of dirty talk is off the charts. I've never heard anything like it. It makes the tips of my ears burn. But it's like they both know exactly what to say to egg the other on.

"Fuck Harry… Yea… I'm--Fuck… I'm close…" Louis groans and starts running his hand over his own chest, back and forth over his pecs, then down his stomach. Harry's thrusts have gotten a little sloppy, what from having to basically hold Louis on top of his bent thighs, and most likely being close to cumming himself. Harry gives a couple particularly hard thrusts just as Louis is running his hand down his own stomach again, when Louis gasps out, "F-fuck I--Your so deep, I can feel you bottoming out… Can fe-el you thrusting up through my stomach…"

Harry bats Louis' hand away and places it where Louis' hand had just been, right under his belly button, his hips thrusting at the same rate, "Jesus Christ Louis... Can't believe we've never noticed before… How does it feel?"

Louis places his hand on top of Harry's on his stomach and leans forward so his forehead rests against Harry's. Louis' other hand that has been holding onto Harry's shoulder is gripping the material of Harry's shirt so tight in his fist his knuckles are white. "So fucking good Haz… Urgh-h-h, you're gonna make me cum. Don't stop… Don't stop... So… S-so close, so close..."

I'm torn between actually staying and watching them cum and just turning around a walking away now. Even though pain is coursing through my heart, hurt and betrayal are running through my body, I can't deny how beautiful they look together. I've never seen anyone look at someone the way they are looking at each other. Not even my parents. Never seen eyes light up with so much love from just looking at someone. It's like a knife to my chest because Louis is looking at another person like that, and not me.

I think witnessing the orgasm they are about to share together will be too much for me. So I push away from the doorframe and turn around, without another glance through the crack in the door.

But just because I'm not looking anymore doesn't mean I can't hear to sounds of Louis' broken cries and desperate moans that creep through the door as he cums.

I try to continue walking through the hallway. Just get out of the way enough so that I can't hear them anymore. Can't imagine what's happening. But Louis' orgasm must have spurred on Harry's, cause all I can hear is profanities moaned and Louis' name chanted like he's God.

I have to lean against the hallway wall to keep myself upright as silent dry heaves form in my throat and my vision gets blurry. I can feel my eyes water and I hope I'm far enough from their door that they don't hear the soft hiccup of a whimper that leaves my mouth. I just can't keep my feeling in anymore. I just watched the boy I love get fucked by his best friend. The whole scene is just exploding in my head now. I wipe angrily at the tears that are falling down my face.

I bend over slightly and place my hands on my knees, trying to breathe. Knowing I need to sit down before my feet give out from under me, I force myself to push off of the wall and walk the rest of the way to the living room. I can faintly hear heavy breathing, but continue to walk out of the hallway. The last thing I hear before I'm completely out of ear shot is the heartbreaking admission of _'i love you'_ from a boy who's voice I could recognize in a lineup blindfolded.

I crash onto the couch in their living room hard. My body feels like it weighs a ton. I rack my brain, trying to come up with something I could have done in my life that would have made me deserve this. I know I'm not as close with my mom as I could be. I stole candy from shops when I was younger all the time. I drink and smoke a little too much sometimes, but none of that, or anything else minor I have done could have deemed me fit for this punishment.

It's not right. It's not fair. I don't deserve this.

Even though all I want to do is forget what I just saw, what I just witnessed… It's the only thing I can see. The only thing I can think about.

I sit there, staring off into space, late night television on mute, and just make it worse by reliving the most painful moments over and over in my head…

_"Oi!" Louis laughs and pushes Harry's face away, "There will be none of that Harold."_

_Harry pouts and bats his eyes playfully, "Really?" He cocks an eyebrow like he doesn't believe a word Louis says. "I thought that was the whole point of tonight?…" Harry leans back on his hands and just looks at Louis like he's the most fucking perfect thing he's ever seen._ **When I realized this was real.**

 _Louis leans down and places his hands on the bed on top of Harry's, and knocks his forehead against Harry's, before just resting it there. "That's because you turn me on so fuckin' much… I'm in a constant state of arousal." Harry smiles like he just won the fucking lottery, and I have to keep my breathing in check._ **When I realized I couldn't breath.**

 _"Yea?" Louis asks, leaning down a little closer to Harry. One of Harry's hands move from Louis' hip to the waistband of his briefs that are poking out of the top of his jeans. Louis makes a content sigh/moan when Harry grabs a handful of Louis' ass when Harry's hand dives under the elastic of his briefs. Which only seems to egg his thrusts against Harry more. "You gonna cum?" Louis chuckles a moan out. "You gonna cum in your jeans like the--Fuck… Sixteen year old boy you were when I met you."_ **When I realized Louis had never been mine.**

_"Do you think you'll still be able to get hard like this when we're in our forties?" Louis asks, his tone changing from in control to sweet._

_My mouth falls open and I have to close my eyes for a moment to regain control over myself. Louis pictures them together twenty years from now. When I asked Louis if he'd ever thought about us even living together he said it was too far in the future. A silent sob escapes my mouth and I do everything I can not to burst into tears that second. I take deep breathes and my eyes snap open when I hear a laugh of pure joy come from Harry._ **When I realized we'd never have a future.**

_Louis smiles sweetly, face all blissed out and euphoric, "Guess… Guess we're kinda made for each other then."_

_Harry leans his forehead down onto Louis', his thumb grazing the skin along Louis' neck, "Guess we kind of are." Harry places his lips against Louis', he catches Louis' bottom lip between his and nips and pulls at the skin slowly, his tongue gliding over the spot after every time he does it._ **When I realized we were never supposed to have happened.**

I don't know how long I've been sitting here rehashing everything, but distant laughter brings me back to the present. I shake my head to clear my thoughts. I can hear the faint sound of hushed talking, then laughing.

It's quiet again for a moment then I hear the distinctive laugh that belongs to Harry, but it's closer then before.

I hear the door creak open, and hear the sound of footsteps getting louder and feel my heartbeat pick up again. Cause for however long I've been sitting on the couch for... I hadn't thought of what I was going to say when confronted by the boys.

Harry's snickering is loud in the hallway as he gets closer to me. "Just rest that gorgeous ass of yours and mentally prepare yourself for round two because--" Harry steps literally one foot into the living room and his eyes fall on me. His eyes grow wide, panic written all over his face. He must have taken his clothes off after he and Louis finished fucking, cause he stands before me completely naked. He realizes this and quickly brings his hands down to cover himself. "Fuck."

"What?" Louis calls from Harry's bedroom.

Harry's eyes are wide and they don't leave mine. His mouth is just opening and close, but nothing is coming out.

"Haz?" Louis calls out again.

I can't quite read the look on Harry's face. He looks so upset, and a small part of me is screaming with joy, because he's getting just a tiny dose of how I feel right now. Whether he's upset because he know's he's about to lose me as a friend or because they've been caught, I don't know.

"Harold?!" Louis yells this time.

It's like Louis' yelling causes Harry's brain to function again cause he turns around quickly and disappears the way he just came.

Feeling anxious I decide I need to move around, I stand and walk towards the kitchen.

I can hear hushed urgency as Harry no doubt tells Louis I'm here and then Louis screams, "What?!"

When I make it to the kitchen I head for their freezer, knowing Louis keeps a bottle of Vodka stocked there at all times. I drink straight from the bottle. Two decent sized chugs. It burns my throat. But then I think about Louis deep throating Harry's cock and how rough his throat must still feel and the burn of the Vodka isn't so bad.

I place the bottle down on the island, but keep my hands on the neck of it. The icy coldness of the bottle feels so good against my skin.

I hear a gasp and look up to see Louis standing in the doorway, in purple Jack Wills sweats, no shirt. Harry is directly behind him, at least he's put briefs on. No shirt for him as well of course. Gotta be as close to naked as possible.

Louis blinks a couple times, then runs his hands over his face like he doesn't believe I'm really here. "El-" He whispers stepping forward.

I put my hand up, cause him to stop talking and stop moving, "Close enough, don't you think _boyfriend._ " I spit out the word boyfriend with all the venom I can muster.

Louis nods and stays put. His eyes look like they're tearing up and I almost laugh out loud, cause I haven't a clue what he could be sad about. "What the fuck could you possible 'ave to be sad about right now Louis?" I look at him, and walk more around the island, putting more space between us. The tension in the kitchen is so thick I can almost taste it. "Did you come here to see how your boyfriend was only to find him getting fucked up the ass by his 'best friend'?" I use air quotations with my fingers before taking another sip of Vodka. "Oh no, that was me…" I look him dead in the eye and a menacing chuckles erupts from my throat.

I watch Harry's hand sneak forward and grasp Louis' hand tight. Supporting him, anchoring each other. I move forward and slam the bottle against the island, causing both boys to flinch, "Don't fucking touch 'im." I yell and point a finger at their locked hands. I sure didn't have any support while I watched them fucking. I think they can manage to get through this argument without touching.

"El-" Harry says, but his hand doesn't drop from Louis.

"Shut the fuck up Harry." I cut him off. His mouth slacks open in surprise. "My dear, dear friend… How long 'ave we been friends Harry? Well I should say were friends now I guess, right?" I chuckle again. "I mean who stays friends with someone after they've seen their boyfriends cum just from sucking their dick? I mean there's got to be some kind of friend code that says that usually isn't acceptable."

Louis winces, "Eleanor please--"

"Please?" I cock my hip against the island, finally letting go of the Vodka bottle. I'm starting to feel brave from the liquid courage. "Like when you we're begging Harry to fuck you?"

Neither of them say anything, Harry's got a hand over his mouth and is looking down. Louis has his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes never leaving my face.

"No?… No takers?" I ask, raising my eyebrow. "So how about I ask you some questions now and you actually fucking tell me the truth."

Louis just stares at me for a moment and when I raise my eyebrows, letting him know I expect an answer, he looks back and forth between me and Harry quickly. "Oh, we can talk now."

I purse my lips and give him a pointed look, "You really think now is the best time to give me sass? Really Louis?"

Louis just sighs and runs a hand through his hair. I can see Harry's arm moving behind Louis' back, most likely rubbing Louis' back. Trying to comfort him without words. Where is my comfort?

"What do you want to know?" Louis asks, his voice harsh and rough, like he swallowed gravel and not Harry's cock.

"How long? When did it start?" I ask right away. Wanting to get the biggest questions out first.

They both look down to the floor at the same time, it would be weird if I didn't know they did this kind of this all the time. Mirror each other. They've been around each other so much it just happens. But the fact that they mirror the other boys as well, makes me feel slightly better. Only slightly.

They've yet to say anything and that makes me worry. Is this so much more worse then I thought it was?

"How fucking long?!" I ask my voice raising in panic and volume. They both flinch at the sudden sound in the otherwise silent room.

Louis is gripping the back of his neck, his eyes closed but his head tilted toward the floor. Harry's looking at Louis, eyebrows furrowed together.

The silence just continues till I can't take it anymore.

"Harry?" His eyes snap to mine. "How long have you been fucking my boyfriend?"

Louis turns slightly and looks up at Harry, like he's waiting to hear what he'll say.

Harry mumbles something under his breathe and looks to Louis.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" I ask, resting my hand on my hip. I'm getting a little frustrated with a lack of communication.

"The beginning…" Harry whispers out softly, his eyes on Louis. I see Louis swallow a large gulp, his adam's apple bobbing and he turns to me, like he's waiting for hell to open or something. But I'm still unsure. Confused on what 'the beginning' means.

"The beginning?" I ask. Harry nods slowly. "The beginning of what? This tour? This album? Last album? The beginning of time? What? Just tell me!" My voice is starting to rise again.

"X-Factor." Is all Harry says.

I stand there with a look on my face like I'm sure I've heard Harry wrong. I just look at them. I feel my vision get blurry and I feel hot under my skin. They're both just looking at me. Different expressions on their faces, but I can't be bothered to think about what they mean. I feel my body start to shake and hot tears run down my face. I grab my chest as a sob flies out of my mouth.

Louis rushes over to me, "Oh God, El-"

I move away from him before he even gets close enough and put distance between us by walking over to the wall at the opposite side of the kitchen. The tears just don't stop. My head and heart are pounding. My brain doesn't really function for a couple minutes. I face the wall, place my head in my hands and just cry. Why? _Why?_ **Why?**

I'm not sure how long I stand there like that just crying my fucking eyes out.

"Eleanor, I'm so fucking sorry." Harry's voice finally rings through the loud pounding in my head and I turn to see him practically next to me. My body courses with anger and I just raise my hand and slap him hard across the face.

The kind of slap that echo's. The kind of slap that leaves a hand print. The kind of slap that forms tears.

"How could you!?" I cry. Harry's hand reaches up and cups the cheek I just slapped.

"Shit." Louis moves over to us and pulls Harry away from me. He stand in front of Harry.

"You were my friend!" My body crashed back against the wall and my legs give out, I slide down the wall and sit on the floor, brining my knees up to my chest. "How could you!? You fucking introduced us! Why?" I wipe at the tears still gliding down my face. "What was the point if you two were already together!"

Harry is now rubbing his cheek. I can see a faint handprint and I want to smile.

"M-management needed a cover for us." Louis chokes out and I'm in shock. "They said--They said it wasn't in our best interest to come out so early in our careers."

"So you 'ave me waste almost two years of my fucking life because you needed a fucking beard!" I run my hand angrily through my hair. "Are you kidding me Louis!?"

"It wasn't my idea Eleanor. I'm so sorry." Louis moves away from Harry a steps closer to me.

"Why didn't you tell me at least?"

"Management wanted everything to l-look real." Louis takes another step closer to me. I look up at him when he's right in front of me and just break down again. My head falls against my arms, that are resting on my knees and I just cry more. I don't know how I have any tears left.

"You still could 'ave told me." I cry out. "I mean you fucked me for christ sake, you could 'ave 'ad the decency to tell me I meant nothing more to you then someone on Modest's payroll… I didn't even get paid for fucks sake." My head lifts up and slams against the wall in frustration.

"You meant something to me El…" Louis says softly. When I open my eyes Louis is kneeling on his haunches in front of me. He has tears in his eyes. Harry is still standing back, his back resting against the island as he watches us.

"How could you do this to someone who means something to you?" I ask simply.

"It…" Louis starts and wrings his hands out together. "It wasn't meant to be like this…" He clears his rough throat. "It was only meant to be a couple months. A-after Modest started really getting in our case…" Louis uses his hand to indicate between him and Harry. "About how Haz--Harry and I acted together. They wanted to hire a girl for me to pretend to date, but I wanted to find someone I actually like to be around. And Harry said he knew you and that he thought we'd really get on and you know the rest." He smiles sadly at the end like it make up for everything somehow.

Louis must have been able to tell I didn't know what to say so he continues talking.

"It was only supposed to be that we date for a couple months then a statement would be tipped to the media that we ended on good terms. But I told management how much we got on and that I liked having you around when I could… Sooooo we just kept it up."

"You've lied to me for almost two years Louis." I whisper out. I understand everything he's telling me, but it doesn't negate the fact that I've been in love with someone who started our relationship just because he needed a cover.

"I know… I know. I'm so sorry El… I never meant for this to happen." Louis runs his hands up and down his thighs. "I-I thought we were doing so well, then management kept bringing up that so many fans thought that me and you were fake, so I figured us 'aving sex would bring us closer. It's stupid… I realize that now. But I was just trying to make everyone happy." Louis looks like he's about to cry again. His voice sounds choked and his eyes are red. "I wanted what was best for the band. God forbid two boys from a boy band are dating. I wanted to shut Modest up. I wanted a way to have you around as much as possible, cause I really do love you El…"

At that my head snaps up and really focusses on Louis. How can that be true? "How can that be true? When you're with Harry..."

Louis stutters for a moment before he moves to stand up fully. Harry reaches his hand out to steady Louis. Continuing to hold his hand after Louis is standing. Louis looks up and smiles sadly at Harry. They look like they're having a secret conversation. A conversation I'll never understand.

Louis turns his head back to facing me, "I do love you El. I love you so much. You--You're such an amazin' person. And I'm so sorry that this happened and that you 'ad to find out this way, but…" Louis reaches the hand that isn't hold Harry's hand over and runs it up and down Harry's arm. "But I'm not just with Harry. I'm not just in love with 'im. Harry…" Louis turns his face back to Harry's and they smile so sweetly at each other I can't help but be envious. Even before tonight, Louis' never smiled at me like that. "He's the love of my life…"

That's all I pretty much needed to hear.

"Okay I think I need to go…" I say as I push myself up.

Louis looks over to me when I'm standing fully, "Wait I--I don't know what to say." Louis says softly. "I really don't want this to be the end of us… Of-Of our friendship…"

"Louis, I…" I sigh and shift back and forth on my feet. All of a sudden I just feel the need to get out of their flat. I need to be alone. I need to just cry alone in my room and eat a shit ton of food and gain weight, and do all the shit that people do when they go through an awful break-up. It just sounds really good to me right now. Better then seeing them in front of me right now. "I don't know how you expect me to stay in your life after this. Are you--You are so selfish sometimes." I run a hand through my hair. "I've known Harry way longer then I've known you and I can barely look at 'im. And I didn't… I didn't fucking love 'im."

Louis looks down sheepishly and closes his eyes tight for a moment before opening them, causing tears to slip out. His thigh is shaking, causing his whole body to jiggle slightly. "I know… I'm sorry. I understand. I just don't want this to be the last time I see you." He bites his bottom lip and looks like he is forcing himself to not come over to me.

I'm thankful for that.

"Lou…" Harry says and I see him gather Louis attention. "I think Eleanor just wants time to herself now… After this." He brings his hand up to Louis cheek and wipes away stray tears with his thumb. "You can't be upset able this." Louis nods his head. "For how fucked up this whole situation is, Eleanor's taking it pretty well-"

I laugh, "Pretty well?" They both turn to me. "The reason I need to get out of 'ere so quickly is because I don't wanna go to prison for double homicide." I don't give their faces a second glance as I move past them to walk back out into the living room. I can feel them follow me. I gather my purse, that I left on the couch and dig through it to search for their key.

When Louis sees me place it on the coffee table he moves closer to me and starts to say something but I cut him off, "I don't need it." More tears are falling from his eyes and I force myself to not care. I don't have to try very hard. I just think about him and Harry in bed together and the coldness I feel towards him comes off pretty easily. But even though I could kill him right now, I don't want to leave on a bad note. I just can't. "I don't know--I honestly can't say whether this is the last time or not we'll see each other. I do… Need time. And I'm sure after Modest gives a statement about us breaking up, there will be a ton of paps and shit…" I lick my lips and look down at my feet quickly. "I won't say anything to them. I-I mean I won't tell them about you two. I could… I could never do that. I feel like I might call you and just ask you more questions, for myself… For closure. I just can't be around you right now… For awhile."

Louis nods. He looks like he wants to say something. But I don't think I can hear anymore. I press my lips together tightly and nod my head once, looking at Louis then at Harry, as a silent goodbye. I turn on my heels and make my way to the door.

It feels like I can finally breath when I get outside. A couple of tears fall from my eyes. I don't wipe them away. They almost feels like a cleansing. A release.

When I get inside my car I take a couple of deep breathes and put the key in the ignition. I have to calm myself. I refuse to get in an accident over this. I need to push this aside for a moment.

When I pull away from their street I feel even better. Like the distance forming between us helps in a way I can't put into words.

I find myself not driving towards home, instead just aimlessly driving around the streets on London. The traffic is a lot less heavy now. It's quiet inside my car and out. Which I'm thankful for. For the pounding in my head has yet to cease.

I drive till I come across a park. I get out and move to sit on the hood of my car. I look up at the stars. There are so many. I think that with how many people are on earth and how big the universe is, my problems are nothing. They suck and they don't feel good. In fact they hurt. But compared to how bad other people have it, I have to admit, it isn't as bad as it could be.

I move to lay down on the hood, my hands folded behind my head. I look up into the night sky and think about my relationship with Louis. Think how closed my eyes had been the whole time. Think about how many warnings I ignored. Think about how things could have been handled differently.

As I lay there, I vow to myself to look at the rest of my life with eyes wide open. 


End file.
